bucket list

if you don't already get the scranton newsletter - sign up! the ultimate in mid-week hilarity by your favorite office friends. this week, a gem from our own michael scott:

Parting Scotts
by Michael Scott

As most of you know, I've given my two weeks' notice. Leaving my position of Regional Manager, after a storied career, I'm moving on to bigger and better things. I've compiled a list of stuff that I will accomplish now that I no longer have to carry the Scranton branch, nay, the entire Dunder Mifflin corporation on my shoulders:

• Complete my bucket list.
• Rent Bucket List.
• Finally win a stuffed animal from the claw game at Chucky Cheese.
  
• Meet someone and fall in love with them, and have many many children.
  
• Visit every Six Flags, ride all the rides, never puke.
  
• Create and promote my YouTube video "Whoopie (cushion) Goldberg."
• Write my new screenplay "Very Scary Movie" - spoiler alert, it's a spoof of "Scary Movie" - only it's actually very scary. Also it's hilarious.
• Europe.
• Pimp my PT Cruiser.
  

.. i may need to add that Six Flags one to my own list.

americana.

in the past two weeks, we've had an insane project to put together for our german svp to present in berlin to our german parent company. that being said, i've spent a lot of time trying to translate german data into something that would make sense to me.

here is an email that our project leader just sent out to said svp, who is still in berlin post-meeting:

How did it go?? We are all on pins and needles! (That's an American expression for - we are anxiously waiting some news!)

Thanks,
Jill

i never thought we'd be translating american too...

miscellany.

author of one of my most favorite books - ben schott - has an interesting column in the nytimes that i just stumbled upon. if you like vocab, with a smattering of news, then this is for you.

if you enjoy that, then you'll definitely enjoy schott's original miscellany, which is a great little book. originally recommended to me by my (non)uncle d, it's good to have around if you've ever wondered about golf stroke nomenclature, how to tie a bow tie, the usps unofficial motto, or which countries are in the Arab League of States (OR how to tie a sari!)

my friends are t-shirts.

was just browsing my absolute fav, threadless.com when i started finding shirts that would be good for certain awesome people in my life...

for a: "biggie was right"

for z: "pancake mountain"



this one can be for z too, but mostly if you swap out "raisins" for "olives." ew. olive cookie.



for e. well, i think it speaks for itself.



clearly for l. she loves the dance.



for j. considering the trouble she gets me into, i can't imagine what she does on her own.



um. that's what she said.


seems appropriate for all involved.

oh brother...

ok, let me start off with - i don't like charlotte. i never liked her from the moment she crash-landed on the island. she always seemed like a snooty, stuck up rude-erson, and i just didn't care for her. she always had this look of "i've got a secret and there is no WAY i'd ever share it with you. ha ha, hee hee, ho ho." i didn't even care when she died. (ok, i was sad for daniel, but only because i like him.) but now, the lost blogosphere has erupted in anger over charlotte's real age (i know... major issue!!!). right after charlotte landed, and the losties took her hostage, ben rattles off her stats, including that she was born in 1979 (which would make her... not yet alive in 1977). YET! We/Daniel see a red-haired little girl bouncing around the dharma camp in 1977! What the hell, producers?! thanks to ew.com and darlton, we have our answer.

i'm not sure if i'm actually relieved that this has an answer, or whether to roll my eyes all the way back in my head as to how far this age discrepancy went...

skate o'clock.

i don't even care that this isn't an intelligent recap. it's hil-ar-ious. i'd highly recommend you read it, even if you are only 1/10th as nuts as me about lost.

fake medical degrees.

a: btw i think people are mistaking me for a gynecologist in this life.

me: haha why? is it because i asked you to give me medical advice last night?

a: well yes that, and then my friend asked me like INSANE gynecology advice. im like...i do not have a degree in this field, people!

happy monday...

please feel free to create your own adventure with this story...

food glorious food...

after a weekend jam-packed with food - pizza and cupcakes and chicken oh my! - (thanks to l's simply awesome familia...), here are some more food-related items.


during our heated discussion about kashurt at dinner:

l: lobsters are just giant sea cockroaches.


also - this is a site that you really should keep tabs on, despite its supreme treif-ity.