new article from my main man.

Tom Friedman's new article "Gonna Need a Bigger Boat" (November 16, 2008). Read it.

hasn't this season of antm taught you anything??

while spinning through people magazine's "star tracks" section (highly intelligent reading material), i noticed a picture of heidi klum with her new makeup line. her arms were stretched out, and there appeared to be a tattoo on her inner right forearm. what?! i hadn't noticed it all last season on project runway, so this had to be new. after a quick consultation with my resident celebrity info genius, i was still left with nothing. but google knows all: apparently heidi got inked mid-June of this year. not that i'm a tattoo connoisseur, but isn't this lame? and if it really is a tattoo of Seal's name (yea, maybe their kids designed it), i'm moderately concerned about the direction of their relationship...

"the reason this sport is perfect for me is because i don't have to be active"

-- my sister, about being a coxswain for the University of Michigan crew team

starring ed norton and..... ed norton.

What's better than a movie with one Ed Norton? Quite clearly the answer is a movie with dos Ed Norton! Well buckle up for 2009 when Leaves of Grass comes out. Ed plays identical twin brothers, one is an Ivy League classics professor and the other is a pot-smoking career criminal..... Does anyone have a time machine so I can see this ASAP?!

(Did I mention that the aforementioned film is directed by Tim Blake Nelson??)

special soup day.

It's here. Today is the day.

Hale & Hearty's Yukon Gold Potato and Four Cheese soup! The whole reason I started going to Hale & Hearty in the first place! Although I am told it is "pureed potato baby food" by my coworkers, I don't even care since it is delicious. Also, if you sign up for it, they will email you with their daily soup menu every morning, so you can appropriately plan your lunch.

How very true....

comedy tv wisdom.

Mademoiselle, beer me dos long island ice teas, s'il vous plait.
--Andy, The Office


L: There's always money in the banana stand.
Me: I wish we had a banana stand...
L: Oh my god, that would be so yummy.

science in the news!

In the spirit of my middle school "Science in the News" Tuesdays (yes, I realize it's Thursday, but I don't control the news):

NASA's Hubble Space Telescope has taken the first visible-light snapshot of a planet circling another star. (!!!) I'd like to remind everyone that our planet (Earth) circles a star as well. This amazing discovery comes after years of improvements in data analysis and observational techniques. According to Dr. Marois, (of the Herzberg Institute of Astrophysics in Canada) the images and data amassed so far are "a window into what our own solar system might have looked like when it was 60 million years old.”

Stay tuned for further ridiculously amazing discoveries!

For further reading:
NASA Press Release
NYTimes Article

highly important entertainment news!

First - The Office. It seems that writer/actor BJ Novack is taking a "leave of absence" from the show to be in a Quentin Tarantino film? What the heck, Ryan? You were the hired guy! Now you're the fire(d) guy again?? Also, does this mean that Pam is going to be back soon as the receptionist? And what does this mean for our girl Kelley?

AND - Lost stars preview Season 5 on ew.com! If you are a nutto like me about this show, you will not want to miss out on all of the videos, including interviews with different cast members, tours of the sets (including inside Ben's house), and Doc Jensen's (ew.com master lost recapper) predictions for the new season. Ahhhhhh!

reality tv show wisdom.

"the last thing you want to do is be voted off first."

-- Ariane, Top Chef

dive bar.

mom: Oh! I forgot to tell you! As we were driving out of the city on Sunday for the airport, we drove by this bar!

me: Yea...

mom: And it had the funniest name! It was called "dive bar"! You know, that's like an expression. But it was also the name of the bar!

me: Yes, mom. that's Dive Bar. It's right by my apartment.

mom: Ohh! ....Is it really a dive?

"oh, my life is changing everyday/in every possible way/and oh my dreams/it’s never quite as it seems/never quite as it seems."

--Dreams, The Cranberries

"if i could be in a facebook relationship with excel, i would be."

--coworker, working late one night

afternoon shenanigans.

already reading:

• One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (by Ken Kesey)
• Blindness (by Jose Saramago)

early-afternoon trip to the library:

• Special Topics in Calamity Physics (by Marisha Pessl)
• The Gift of the Magi, and Other Short Stories (by O. Henry)

to the confused man at Hale & Hearty: sorry we all laughed at you when you couldn’t find the huge chalkboard menu; the country of New York is a harsh place.

to the man i ran full-force into while crossing 45th street: so sorry! i have a tendency to not look where i’m going, you just happened to be in my path of destruction.

to the mysterious co-worker who cleaned my pyrex in which i brought homemade cupcakes to the office this week: thanks, you rule. glad you enjoyed! (i know certain people had 3 cupcakes - in one day - and that’s pretty sweet.)

delicious invite.

E: by the way - must check the mail tomorrow
me: me check mail?
E: important mail is coming for you tomorrow
me: for me me?
E: for you. like mailbox mail
me: me??
E: yes
me: what? is it a baby alien? or is it Z's head in a box?
E: the latter
me: ewwwwwww. what is it..... now im all in suspense
E: oh please its our wedding invitation silly
me: OH YESSSSSSSSSSSS! i am gonna frame that thing in gold. or dip it in gold. or chocolate. yummy invite. you should have just made them out of chocolate to begin with
E: that would have been smart! damn. can you do that for your wedding?
me: oh yea no prob. just wait about 10 years. but by then we'll be using bionic chocolate.

i get a shout-out on liz's blog!

“sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole/just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound.”

—	Marching Bands of Manhattan, Death Cab for Cutie

i love days like today when i “forget” to change into my dress shoes at work, and spend all day in my chucks. can you say comfort?? although i do kind of look like liz lemon as a result. (and my shoes are 87% more beat up than the ones shown above.)

the above is a form that i was asked to fill out today (after working for 1 year+ at my company). they seem to be doing anything to find reasons to fire people…

why i love my sister.

me: "lets hack off her head!"
sister: awww!

hilarity from my blogging role model, georgia nicolson, via my sister

“There are six things very wrong with my life:
1. I have one of those under-the-skin spots that will never come to a head but lurk in a red way for the next two years.
2. It is on my nose.
3. I have a three-year-old sister who may have peed somewhere in my room.
4. In fourteen days, the summer hols will be over and it will be back to Stalag 14 and Oberführer Frau Simpson and her bunch of sadistic ‘teachers.’
5. I am very ugly and need to go into an ugly home.
6. I went to a party dressed as a stuffed olive.”

—from “Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging” (yes it’s for pre-teen girls. but i don’t care. it’s hilarious.)

what, praytell, is “fashion” about this? maybe if the buttons said “purple leggings”, “sombrero”, “little black dress”, or “bermuda shorts”, it would have something to do with fashion. this, my friends, does not.

early morning ethical dilemma.

i was running late to begin with. my morning routine has slowly gotten out of hand, which is just another one of the pros on getting magic straight. my morning playlist was blaring, and i was walking on autopilot to my subway stop. as i was crossing the street, i stepped over a pile of leaves that had gathered in a gutter. it was only about 20 seconds later, when i was already more than half a block away that i realized a $5 bill had been half buried in the pile of leaves. hmm… i wasn’t going to turn back to reassess the situation, since i was way late for work. but then i thought - what if it had been a $50? i think then i may have gone back to see if i could locate someone who had dropped it. but what if i couldn’t? then i’m standing on the street holding someone else’s $50. i would feel really bad about keeping it. it would be like bad karma just parking itself in my pocket. ok, but what if it had been just $1? it seems like $1 is up for grabs. it’s like finding a lucky penny on the sidewalk. but $5? that’s almost money. in the end, i probably don’t need someone else’s $5. i could check back on the pile of leaves later tonight to see if it’s been claimed (sidenote: have my evenings really been reduced to checking for lost money in piles of leaves in the street??). otherwise, i’ll find a nice homeless person who looks like they could use $5.

this shouldn't be awkward...

(names have been changed to protect the innocent; please keep in mind that i have not spoken to the "eugene" character since about 8th grade)

lucy: are you there? i need a quickie favor
me: Sure......
lucy: can you call eugene and see if he answers and if he does, ask him how far he is from picking me up
me: haha ok one sec
lucy: (he has my cell phone, i have no way of contacting him)
me: and just hang up?
lucy: no no
me: um, awk. do i say who i am?
lucy: if he doesnt answer, hang up, but if he does, get the info, RE: picking time
me: this is weird central
lucy: he'll understand. just tell him its you and that I IMed you to get a hold of him
me: ok here i go....hes "leaving school in a few minutes" so probably "20-25 minutes"? he "just got your message" if that helps.
lucy: yes. perfect. thank you!

pretty sweet; it even has a cool popping sound!

our holiday party was supposed to be at the russian tea room… a sign of the times. (also, they tried to fool us by inviting our spouses, but i’m not fooled.)

fire warden.

we recently realized that everyone on our floor who has been assigned as fire warden, deputy fire warden, etc., on our floor has either been fired or quit or otherwise moved on. neat. that means we are still relying on certain persons to check the bathrooms and get everyone out in the event of an emergency. good work, my company.

what this means for your dear blogger is: i get to be the new floor fire warden!! i’m not sure what’s involved in this, but i get to train with the building’s fire chief next week and after going through the whole training, i get a fireman’s hat! yessss!

one too many, mr president.

email that i just received from obama:

In the months and years ahead, we’re going to accomplish amazing things together. No president has ever had the support of such a powerful grassroots movement, and Barack and Joe will need you to continue fighting alongside them.

But before we take the next step, we need to get our house in order.

The Democratic National Committee poured all of its resources into building our successful 50-state field program. And they played a crucial role in helping Barack win in unlikely states like North Carolina and Indiana. We even picked up an electoral vote in Nebraska.

The DNC took on considerable debt to make this happen.

Make a donation of $30 or more now to help the DNC pay for these efforts, and you’ll get a commemorative 2008 Victory T-shirt.

The DNC began building a 50-state organization in 2005.

The infrastructure they put in place over the last four years opened up a new batch of battleground states where a Democratic nominee hadn’t been competitive for a generation.

In the final few months, the DNC went above and beyond to expand our ground efforts and ensure victory.

We couldn’t have won this election without their support.

As we start laying the groundwork for real change, we need to help the DNC recover the resources it took to win. Please make a donation today and get your 2008 Victory T-shirt:

https://donate.barackobama.com/victoryshirt

This movement for change is just getting started, and we look forward to working with you to bring the change this country needs.

Thanks for everything you did to elect Barack and Joe,

Obama for America

obama - i think you are fantastic, and i eagerly await to see all of the changes that you promised us. but this was one email too many.

welcome.

well now that everyone and their dog have a blog, i figured it was my time. welcome to whoever manages to find my little blog! i hope you enjoy my daily happenings and musings.