who let the dogs out?

This post is dedicated to C, who greeted me this morning with: "Are you going to blog about something today so I can read it?" You’re welcome, lady!

 As you may have guessed it, this one is about dogs. First off – our dog, Mimi. Do you see this picture? That’s Mimi. Now I ask you – does this look like a vicious dog? If you answered yes, you’re wrong. The correct answer is obviously no. All this dog does is sleep approximately 20 hours a day. She is almost a cat. (Seriously – she loves drinking milk from a bowl.) She enjoys napping in the sun and on heating pads. The only remotely dog-like thing she does is chase squirrels and she is good at playing fetch with a tennis ball. I only know two people in this world who don’t like Mimi and one is a child and the other is an idiot.

Said idiot brings me to the nub and thrust of our story. Last week, a certain Human who shall remain nameless (cough – dad – cough) took Mimi on a walk, as per usual. For those who don’t know, Mimi’s worst enemy is the mailman (yes, this is a dog cliché). Whenever the mail comes, she FREAKS OUT for at least a half hour. I think she feels like the mail is an intruder and she has to protect us. Clearly, the mailman is enemy #1, since he delivers this intrusion. So whenever she sees the Mailman during a walk, she barks and barks and barks like a crazy person (dog). On this walk, the Human was unfortunately not paying attention and this time, Mimi was able to get close enough to the Mailman to “bite” him. I say “bite” because, hello – this dog weighs like 1 pound and her mouth is the size of a dime (do I need to refer you back to the picture above ?).

Anyhow, the Mailman alerted a member of the Highland Park Police Department, and a police officer showed up at our door about five minutes later. My mom was able to get him to go away by saying my dad was unavailable at the moment, and the police officer said my dad had to call him back later to discuss the incident. At the end of the day, we had to get Mimi tested for rabies and she is not allowed to be walked off our property for 10 days. We will be fined if Animal Control does not hear back from our vet regarding the results of the rabies test. Also, the ticket we were issued indicates that Mimi is an “attacking and biting dog”. She is now an outlaw from justice. (Maybe that will be her Halloween costume…? Miniature striped jumpsuit and small handcuffs?) (Oh no - after further research, of course this actually exists. What is wrong with people?)

Hilariously, when I texted my mom today to ask how Mimi was doing, she wrote “Have taken her on secret walks. Don’t tell the Mailman! No Xmas prezzies for him. He’ll be sorry!!” My family is the best. 

Secondly, I’d like to alert you that it’s that time of year again – when crazy dog people dress up their dogs in unfortunate-yet-sometimes-hilarious-and-adorable Halloween costumes. I saw this gallery today of dogs in the annual Tompkins Square Park Dog Parade. I think my favorite is the Pan Am Stewardess dog. What’s yours?

Happy Doglloween (and keep your doggies away from our Mailman)! 

that's really not the trend in vampires right now.

dearest E: here is a post JUST FOR YOU. (Ok, everyone else can read it too.)

so, the big day is almost upon us! that's right, it's halloween. now, i am not too big on halloween. as a kid, i was pretty much scared of my own shadow, and running around at NIGHT in the DARK was not an interest of mine. the costumes were scary and it was always too cold (thanks, chicago). so after a couple years of trick-or-treating as a kid, halloween got the kibosh, and i've ignored it mostly ever since.

for those of you who know me, you'll understand why i was never interested in the adult version of halloween either. i'm not big on getting really really drunk and wandering around the city in slutty costumes. hence, the shunning continued.

but, this year i am going to take a chance and go out for halloween. i have a built in costume: the insane, black and gold lamé 80's prom dress that i wore for purim junior year of college. i'll crimp my hair and there you go - instant costume.

the issue now is, as M pointed out, i'm not really "going as" anything. is "80's prom girl" an acceptable costume to go as? at this point, i'm not going to rethink the whole thing. i don't have the stamina or the imagination to whip up some other awesome costume now. but (and here's where you come in) if i had to do it all over again, what should i have gone as? if this year goes well, i can use your suggestion next year. or even sooner for purim! so, send in your suggestions now, and also let me know what you're going to be this year!

happy trick-or-treating... stay away from any vampires that look like Creed...

(a big thanks to A for pulling some pics for me! xoxo)

i am a black belt in gift wrapping.

ever wanted to design your own tote bag? now is the time! check out the jonathan adler site, where you can design your own rugs, pillows and tote bags. better than the personalized mug or mousepad gift! enjoy!

dino plant.

pretty sure i need this for my office. best part? you can forget to water it! that's how i take care of all my plants! but this one will just hibernate for 50 years until i remember to take care of it again. sweet.

too bad birthday/hanukkah is over...

wah wah wah.

tis the season to make kids cry. i think one reason these kids are so upset is - some of these santas are really creepy!

happy pre-deceberween.

if you don't have a clue as to what deceberween is, you haven't been visiting my favorite site, homestarrunner.com. definitely, check it out.

also, please enjoy this thanksgiving cartoon from a few years back. one of my favs. happy turkey day!