not quite sure what to say.

please view the picture below and it's accompanying letter. thanks to L and Z for bringing this to my attention....


(Here’s the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn’t show me dancing around a pole. It’s supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

treif alert!

According to my sources, the Superbowl is this weekend (or as my mom referred to it today, the "Stupidbowl"). As you may be able to tell, I don't care too much about football, but what I do care about is food. This loveliness was brought to my attention today by Z. It is highly treif, but of course there were already ideas on how to make it potentially less treif. Either way, I dare you to think this is not the most awesome thing ever:

For step-by-step pictures and instructions, please visit the site, and bask in the football food glory. Happy Stupidbowl!

amazing.

thanks to e's always-phenomenal detective work (and general organizational abilities), she's discovered this amazing Obama poster! i want one for my apartment!

obama connection alert.

i had heard rumors about this in my family, but today i found confirmation of my family's connection to obama!

so, my grandpa started a meatpacking company in 1939 - city foods. sorry kids, it's not kosher. he sells his brand of brisket and corned beef - bea's best, named after my grandma - to, among other places, manny's deli in chicago. again, i wouldn't really know about it due to the non-kosher factor, but apparently it's a big deal in chicago. and the word on the street is that obama loves to get corned beef sandwiches from them! hoorah for bea's best! pretty cool that the president loves my family's corned beef.

need plans for the weekend?

yes, a weekend has just ended, but that's the best time to start pondering your plans for the upcoming weekend! we're all workin' for the weekend anyhow, right?

anyhow, thanks to a's brilliant detective work (and general ability to just be in shul), we've discovered that SCHLOCK ROCK will be playing THIS WEEKEND (saturday night) in NEW YORK CITY (at Ramat Orah, West 110th between Broadway and Amsterdam). ahhhhhh (screams my 10 year old self)!

in case you were a total dork as a kid, i will let you in on the schlock rock secret. they are a jewish band, started in 1985, who parodies rock songs with Jewish/religious lyrics. various topics include: rashi, kashrut, tu b'shvat, shabbat, jewish history.

a few choice lyrics: "Oh can't you see/OU it's gotta be."
"Help me Rambam yea/Get me closer to God."
"Na'aseh v'enishma/We'll do all the mitzvahs/Come on let's learn some more/All night long."
"Hey you! What's that you're wearing?" "Yo it's my yarmulke!"

in our excitement for le concertia, convo with L -
L: (quoting Every Bite You Take) We're the police! The kosher police!
Me: Haha yay!
L: And get it? Because The Police sing the real song! Their genius is endless.
Me: This is blog-worthy. Thank you for your brilliant "police" work.

have i convinced you?! hopefully! can't wait to rock out with you this weekend! be good, be cool, be jewish!

top of the muffin to ya!!!!!

text from a: "SAW MUFFIN TOPS AT THE GROCERY STORE!!!"

wow. didn't know that michigan area grocery stores are getting their ideas from seinfeld.

the most ridiculous of them all.

this is one of those times when a picture would have been nice, but even that would not have captured the utter ridiculousness of the situation.

so. we were waiting to cross 1st avenue at 14th street. it was late-ish on saturday night, maybe midnight. we see a guy crossing the street in the crosswalk, coming towards us. he drops his cell phone on the street. a second later, he drops his phone again. i say (out loud), "ohh that sucks." and he must have heard me because when he got to the corner where we were standing, he looks up at us and says with a goofy grin, "sorry! i'm high!"

it seemed as though he felt like he really needed to apologize to us for the situation. don't worry, guy! we now have this amazing new-york-moment story! thanks!