new careers for me.

#1. Softball Queen

me:i just got an email to be on the RH softball team. ummmmm let me think....
L: hahaha go for it! they're recruiting you because they feel your natural athleticism
me: um. only if we can make ICJA style girlie team sweatpants

L: of course. is there another way to play?

me: nope

L: glad we're on the same page

#2. Prankster

E: ok landis. i need your advice, because i think you're sneaky

me: ha ok...
E: have you thought about april fools? i need a goooooood joke

me: hahaha. im not sneaky like that! well when my uncle got married we trashed his hotel room.... like saran wrap on the toilet seat, vaseline on the door knobs, shortsheeting the bed...
E: ooh lala. shortsheeting??

me: where you make someones bed but with the flat sheet folded up halfway. so when they try to get in bed they can only get their legs halfway down....ha ha. or you can set their alarm to some HORRIBLE station to go off at like 3am.... i am imagining you doing all of this to your BF. im not sure why. or you can go matilda style and put bleach in someone's hair gel

E: shoot. you have such good ideas! i got punked last year

me: i like the saran wrap one. it's a really good. you put it under the toilet seat so they cant readily see it. and then the pee just comes back out at you.
E: yea, it's gross. i should do it, absolutely. thanks!