dear tom friedman:

i love you.

all: read this article, it's highly awesome and important.

in other news, hope everyone is having a fantastic christmas/new years/winter break.

in case you're feeling down.

and i'm not saying you are. but sometimes the ridiculousness of winter can get you feelin' blue. here are two things which may cheer you up:

procrastination...

the good news is: i'll be in sunny florida tomorrow. woo! away from this freezing cold horribleness in new york. (sorry to all those who are going staycation style this holiday season... i'll promise to dazzle you with some florida pics that are sure to warm your bones. and you will also get a glimpse of the first pictures out of my brand new birthday/hanukah camera present!)

the bad news is: i have to pack. my family is notoriously terrible at packing in a normal fashion. when the cab to the airport comes for us, the deb is usually still cramming stuff into suitcases. i'm mostly a bit better than that, but i just don't like it. and this kind of trip is the worst to pack for - florida, chicago AND a wedding. i mean, i'm 12 kinds of excited for all of it, but ugh. too much to think about. so far, i've only determined the books i'm bringing (3, is that enough??), and started to think about shoes. at this rate, i'll be up until 2am deciding on different swim suits and dresses. at least my bridesmaid dress is already in chicago... here is a card from z which really sums up the entire situation:

(most awesome) pictures of the week (ever).

world's best boss.

J: an interesting tidbit to move your thursday along

me: ok

J: im reading an interview with the writer of the xmas episode of the office. and he said that instead of michael's drink being "orangevodjuiceka" it was originally supposed to be a jack and coke, called a "coke daniels"

me: hahahaha, love it.

(two) pictures of the week.

sunset outside of my window last night.


... i think someone killed square man in the lobby of my building.

my horn can pierce the sky.

fa la la la la, la la ka-ching.

LOST preview, goobers!

have you seen this sneak peek yet?! ahhhhhhh!

two thursday tidbits.

first off, it looks like caylee anthony is really dead. i don't know if you've also been following the case, but this kind of thing is another one of the various things i'm interested in. so, caylee anthony is 3 years old, and has been missing since june. her mom, 22 year old casey anthony, was recently charged with murder, and is being held in the orange county jail. not only did searches for cloroform come up on the mom's computer, but a neighbor told police she had asked to borrow a shovel, and police dogs smelled human decomposition in the trunk of her car. sounds guilty to me...
also, i think i found the perfect job for me: Secretary of Food. no, not because i like to eat. but because i'm really interested in agriculture reform (in addition to energy technology and climate change). so, vote for me. or tell obama to pick me. either one.

sassy chihuahua.

i haven't seen it yet, and hadn't heard much about it, but now i'm really thinking about seeing synecdoche, new york. considering is stars philip seymour hoffman, i'm not sure why i wasn't first in line on opening day for this. additionally, apparently i really like charlie kaufman, who directed this film. i've seen a lot of his movies (being john malkovich, adaptation, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind...), and even though they all really freak me out, they are all pretty wonderful and thoughtful and different.
anyhow, charlie kaufman was the guest last night on the colbert report. i thought the interview was pretty fantastic, and wanted to share:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Charlie Kaufman

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

do not attempt to watch this at work.

if you haven't seen it yet, you really really should. . .




note to j.t.: you've been on snl just how many times in the past month?? i'm sure lorne michaels would let you be in the cast if you asked him. just a thought.

trl isn't dead!

...at least not here. just thought i'd share a few things that have been on repeat for me for a while now. enjoy!

- here is ryan adams's answering bell. yea yea, i always said i didn't like him. mostly due to the fact that he puts out a new album about every two weeks, and that seems annoying and pretentious. but answering bell came up on my iTunes recently, and i can't stop listening.

- my new favorite is julian velard. saw a show of him and ari hest recently with L, and we're both obsessed (partially because they are both jewish, mostly because they both rule). two things of julian's are below that you should watch! the first is my new favorite of favorite songs, do it alone. the other one is his new music video of the song jimmy dean & steve mcqueen. enjoy!

the real generation x.

and, he does it again. read tom friedman's new article on the auto industry bailout, and what it should be contingent upon.

psa

i don't often like to tell people what they should do, but this is an important one.

last night, after shabbat dinner guests had left and we were just about asleep, we heard a horrible beeping noise. in the 1+ year that i've lived here, i've only heard the fire alarm go off, and it is in the hallway (i.e. not in the apartment). but this was LOUD. we saw a device in the apartment that was high up on a wall. it was beeping and blinking like crazy. i pulled it off the wall and saw that it was a cardon monoxide detector. i didn't even know it was there, but thank goodness it was. i took the battery out just to stop the noise. we turned off the heat and oven, and opened all the windows.
when i called to the doorman downstairs, he was pretty unreassuring, and just said to open the windows and we'd be fine. but i was concerned, so i called 911 to get the fire department to come out. it was kind of cool to hear the sirens and see the fire truck speeding down columbus and knowing they were coming to our apartment. so, 3 firemen, complete with picks and hats and suits come up to our apartment. after about 30 seconds of walking around the apartment and using a device to detect for more CO in the apartment, they determined that it had all dissipated. but they were very nice and told us we were right to call them. i still slept with my windows wide open though.
here's the cheesy part: carbon monoxide is, as i'm sure you know, odorless and colorless (i.e. you will have no way of detecting it yourself). i won't go into what higher levels of ppm can cause in humans. all you need to know is - get a carbon monoxide detector if you don't have one. if and when you do, be sure to test the device and battery regularly. you'll be glad you did.

tra la la...

tra la la... i have j.k. rowling's new book....

(btw - for anyone who also went out to get the new book today, were you surprised at how little fanfare there was, in comparison to the other books? i suppose this is outside of the main harry potter canon, but come ON. harry potter fans are crazy (myself 110% included)! not that i ever dressed up and went to get the books at midnight (really, i didn't! i was always at camp. i don't know if jaberwocky has anything for it in the summer), but i had heard that there was going to be some festivities. on my way home from work, i just popped into the B&N on 5th avenue, expecting them to at least tell me they were sold out, or i had to order it but NO. there was an entire shelf of them just sitting there. i was pretty shocked that i was able to just walk out of there with the new book with no hassle... i hope it's good!)

disorganization and other tales of waiting in line.

so, all i wanted to do is have a little cultural outing. what i got was a frustrating, complete lack of organization. ugh.

we wanted to go see a prescreening of milk at the moma, with a q&a with gus van sant. sounds great, right? we thought so. of course, the tickets were just about sold on the first day of ticket sales last week. i went yesterday, for day-of ticket sales. they were going to start selling tickets at 1:00. i got to the museum at about 11:15. there was, of course, already a significant line, but i had a pretty good spot. (what we've also learned from this experience is: new yorkers love to wait in line.) after a while, a little man with a clipboard came around asking how many tickets everyone needed. around 12:30, another man ("Sweater Guy") came out and cut off the line about three people ahead of me saying that everyone behind that spot wouldn't get tickets. what the hell?! we hung around for a bit to see what would happen, but it looks like they had pretty accurately calculated the leftover tickets.

we found out that gus van sant had reserved about half of the seats for his buddies and entourage. good work, man. didn't you want the public to hear you speak? i'm sure your friends think your movie is good, or at least tell you so. we also got to see Pink Lady (short Jewish woman with a firey temper) give hell to Sweater Guy for not having enough tickets. whatever. they told us the standby line would start at 6, and they would give out whatever tickets weren't picked up before the movie at 7.

i got to the moma film office at 5:15. at that time, they wouldn't even tell you where the line was forming. what?! how does that make any sense? Sweater Guy announced to the growing crowd that at 6, he would tell us where the line would begin. ok... sounds like a stampede to me. by the time e got there, we were able to play zones for a few minutes, until Sweater Guy announced where the line would be. again, we got a good place. we stood against the wall in line for an hour, before they decided to tell us there were no available tickets. wow....

in the end, we went to crazy times square and saw slumdog millionaire, which was fan-frikkin-tastic. to entice you, trailer below.

(also - if you want to see any movie screenings at the moma, get there well before what you might consider to be ridiculously early, and expect utter disorganization.)

can you feel the excitement?

...i sure can! it's meryl streep! in all her glory! on the cover of entertainment weekly! go go go and read the cover story on her and why she is awesome. ALSO - see her in Doubt, which comes out in theaters on December 12th. i know i'll be waiting in line. if you're not convinced because of ms. streep, go see it because it also stars the always-amazing philip seymour hoffman. watch the trailer below and be astounded.

le office!

if you watch the office, why haven't you watched the new webisodes yet?! don't worry, they are both embedded below, so please watch and laugh. (and if you don't watch the office, what's wrong with you? i'm mostly kidding but.... do you not love to laugh or something?)

happy belated birthday to me

if you're still pondering what to get me, here is my second birthday present help post. i would very much like this tshirt please!

really good news....

....not.

i'm scared.

in preparation for the big day...

i thought i'd say happy birthday to those who share the best birthday day ever: november 28. we're a pretty cool crew, so get psyched.

first off: margaret tudor, sister of king henry VIII. i wish i could tell you more about her, but her wikipedia page is putting me to sleep. to find out more, please ask my mom, who is an expert in all things regarding old-timey england.

next: william blake. i think i like him best for illustrating john milton's paradise lost.

also: alfonso XII of spain. ruled as the king of spain from 1875 to 1885. he died in november of 1885, just short of his 28th birthday.

fast forward to 1943 when mr. randy newman was born. he's written the scores for some of my favorite movies, including toy story, meet the parents and monsters inc. he was also featured on family guy, where the griffins run into him during an apocolypse in quahog. you really should see the video to get the song's full, ridiculous effect.

then, paul shaffer, master of song on letterman. apparently, letterman maintains that the show was switched from nbc to cbs because paul was fired for "stealing some pens." um, what??

also born on novemeber 28 is ed harris! he has been in some of my most favorite movies, including the truman show, empire falls, and a beautiful mind. he was also in stepmom, but that one is way too sad to talk about.

another movie man with the same birthday is alfonso curon. i like him best for directing harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban. after that, he went downhill with the pretty-much-terrible children of men.

and, last but not least: jon stewart!!! ever heard of him? wow and wow. i sort of feel like i should let him know we have the same birthday. maybe we can have a party next year, or at least a birthday show together. that would be twelve kinds of fantastic. happy birthday everyone!!!

makeup alert!

love makeup? want to get a ton of great makeup, all for $1? (if you answered no, you are either a guy, or maybe shouldn't be my friend anymore...) the brand e.l.f. was recently bought by nordstroms. because everything needs to be repackaged with the new branding, they are selling every item on their website for $1! ahhhhhhh!! it's a brand i've never used, but on a quick spin through their site, they seem to have really great stuff, good colors, lotions AND cute makeup bags! have i mentioned everything is only $1?! go there now!

the cookie knows all.

fortune cookie from last night's dinner with L: "through greater effort and hard work a precious dream comes true."
... i'm wondering if the fortune cookie people are watching me?

"sir, are we doomed?"

this one is pretty scary stuff. i'm not sure if you've heard of the economic crisis happening in the world right now, but my main main tom friedman is pretty concerned about it. not only in this article does he suggest that we stay home and save our money by eating tuna, he believes that bush should instate obama's secretary of treasury pick tim geithner now. additionally, he suggests that inaguration day should be moved up to thanksgiving. pretty scary stuff, but definitely an important read.

on a bit lighter note (only because it was on the colbert report), friedman discusses his new book "Hot, Flat and Crowded". friedman had recently been on the daily show and was not funny, so i was glad to see him redeem himself here:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Thomas Friedman

Ron Paul Interview
Bob Barr Interview

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

what were they thinking?

well, here's another one for the bad celebrity baby name file. congrats to proud parents ashlee simpson and pete wentz on their son (drumroll please): bronx mowgli wentz. ummm, what the hell? the mowgli part is kind of cool... at least in the jungle book, he's sort of a fun, rascaly kid. but just think about it: bronx wentz? it's almost too zippy. the experts had a lot to say about it. baby naming expert Maryanna Korwitts said, "Bronx Wentz? Little problem in the flow there in saying the name. ... We've got some problems in that Bronx and Wentz are both one syllable, and it's a very herky-jerky type of thing when you're saying it." Well said, lady.

for more celebrity baby madness, i recently came across the celebrity baby blog where you can read to your hearts content about other peoples' babies whom you will never meet. be sure to read the interview with brad pitt. the title of the article is "Brad Pitt on more kids, 'Why should I stop?'" I'll just leave the rest for you all to read....

what will they think of next?

if you saw the daily show from last night, you already know about this >2008 Presidential Campaign condoms. yes, you heard me correctly. they have obama, mccain and of course, palin condoms. don't forget to click on the links for each individual candidate. the obama and mccain pages have pretty good soundbites, but the palin page is the best by far.

my two loves.

can you tell which one is Kate?

1. Do you like Lost? Let me rephrase. Are you as obsessed with Lost as I am?! (Most likely not possible, but I'm sure you can come close.) Assuming you are counting down the days to January 21 as I am, please read this article. Be sure to watch the embedded, totally nuts video clip!!!

2. All I can say is: Harry Potter trailer. Augfohonadocihhdokphs!!!

pictures of the week.

torch-bearers walk through lewes, england on guy fawkes night


the (super fast) pope arrives at Saint Peter's Square at the Vatican

analeigh's picture last week on top model

sunrise over lake michigan... i miss chicago!

a navy midshipman is thrown in the air during an ncaa college football game against notre dame

view from a small German town near bavaria shows an airliner flying over the full moon

bush at the UN conference... neat-o. i think he's trying to wink?

my main man! what a smile.

two mid-monday tidbits.

numero uno - i am equal parts giddy and shocked at the following nytimes article: 12-Year-Old's a Food Critic, and the Chef Loves It. first off, the kid's name is David Fishman. jewish much? if you weren't convinced, he lives on the Upper West Side. the article goes on to explain how his parent's left him alone (wtf?!) and instead of get his usual "hummus take-out dinner" he decided to try out this new, swanky restaurant that he had noticed. i partially want to hang out with him because he seems like a super cool, mature kid. but on the other hand - what kind of kid thinks it's normal to eat by himself at a brand new, hip UWS restaurant?! weirdo. you'll have to read the whole article for the full story, but it's pretty much out of control.

dos: for those of you who don't know, i will be a bridesmaid in a certain person's (ok, two people are getting married. and i think they are both equally superb) wedding next year. instead of the usual tradition of making bridesmaid dresses, we decided to check out what the internet had to offer us. what we found is something you all should see, whether you are in the market for bridesmaid dresses, or just general hilarity. can't wait to wear my mormon dress to a very relig jewish wedding!

i (don't) love jesus.

all i have to say is: wtf?!

dino-mite!

if you have been racking your brain, trying to think of what to get me for my birthday, look no further! i would like the playskool kota my triceratops dinosaur, please!

ok - it's an animatronic, "life-size" (how do they know?), baby dinosaur that stand 3 feet tall! it responds to voice and touch with roaring and laughing sounds, and has expressive tail (?), head, eye, mouth and horn movements. it also comes with 4 adventure-themed tunes, weighs a mere 60 pounds and comes with "leafy snacks" to feed your new friend!

i hope to meet kota in a few weeks on my birthday! thank you in advance, friends!

i think it's pretty sad that, now that i am a businesslady, i find dilbert hilarious. also, the above comic is basically what i do on a daily basis....

make it work!

For all of the Project Runway fans out there, you should definitely watch the ew.com video interview with Tim Gunn, where he discusses, among other things, Kenley's bad-ittude. You know that if Tim Gunn thinks you suck, that means you really, really suck. You rock my socks, Tim.

new article from my main man.

Tom Friedman's new article "Gonna Need a Bigger Boat" (November 16, 2008). Read it.

hasn't this season of antm taught you anything??

while spinning through people magazine's "star tracks" section (highly intelligent reading material), i noticed a picture of heidi klum with her new makeup line. her arms were stretched out, and there appeared to be a tattoo on her inner right forearm. what?! i hadn't noticed it all last season on project runway, so this had to be new. after a quick consultation with my resident celebrity info genius, i was still left with nothing. but google knows all: apparently heidi got inked mid-June of this year. not that i'm a tattoo connoisseur, but isn't this lame? and if it really is a tattoo of Seal's name (yea, maybe their kids designed it), i'm moderately concerned about the direction of their relationship...

"the reason this sport is perfect for me is because i don't have to be active"

-- my sister, about being a coxswain for the University of Michigan crew team

starring ed norton and..... ed norton.

What's better than a movie with one Ed Norton? Quite clearly the answer is a movie with dos Ed Norton! Well buckle up for 2009 when Leaves of Grass comes out. Ed plays identical twin brothers, one is an Ivy League classics professor and the other is a pot-smoking career criminal..... Does anyone have a time machine so I can see this ASAP?!

(Did I mention that the aforementioned film is directed by Tim Blake Nelson??)

special soup day.

It's here. Today is the day.

Hale & Hearty's Yukon Gold Potato and Four Cheese soup! The whole reason I started going to Hale & Hearty in the first place! Although I am told it is "pureed potato baby food" by my coworkers, I don't even care since it is delicious. Also, if you sign up for it, they will email you with their daily soup menu every morning, so you can appropriately plan your lunch.

How very true....

comedy tv wisdom.

Mademoiselle, beer me dos long island ice teas, s'il vous plait.
--Andy, The Office


L: There's always money in the banana stand.
Me: I wish we had a banana stand...
L: Oh my god, that would be so yummy.

science in the news!

In the spirit of my middle school "Science in the News" Tuesdays (yes, I realize it's Thursday, but I don't control the news):

NASA's Hubble Space Telescope has taken the first visible-light snapshot of a planet circling another star. (!!!) I'd like to remind everyone that our planet (Earth) circles a star as well. This amazing discovery comes after years of improvements in data analysis and observational techniques. According to Dr. Marois, (of the Herzberg Institute of Astrophysics in Canada) the images and data amassed so far are "a window into what our own solar system might have looked like when it was 60 million years old.”

Stay tuned for further ridiculously amazing discoveries!

For further reading:
NASA Press Release
NYTimes Article

highly important entertainment news!

First - The Office. It seems that writer/actor BJ Novack is taking a "leave of absence" from the show to be in a Quentin Tarantino film? What the heck, Ryan? You were the hired guy! Now you're the fire(d) guy again?? Also, does this mean that Pam is going to be back soon as the receptionist? And what does this mean for our girl Kelley?

AND - Lost stars preview Season 5 on ew.com! If you are a nutto like me about this show, you will not want to miss out on all of the videos, including interviews with different cast members, tours of the sets (including inside Ben's house), and Doc Jensen's (ew.com master lost recapper) predictions for the new season. Ahhhhhh!

reality tv show wisdom.

"the last thing you want to do is be voted off first."

-- Ariane, Top Chef

dive bar.

mom: Oh! I forgot to tell you! As we were driving out of the city on Sunday for the airport, we drove by this bar!

me: Yea...

mom: And it had the funniest name! It was called "dive bar"! You know, that's like an expression. But it was also the name of the bar!

me: Yes, mom. that's Dive Bar. It's right by my apartment.

mom: Ohh! ....Is it really a dive?

"oh, my life is changing everyday/in every possible way/and oh my dreams/it’s never quite as it seems/never quite as it seems."

--Dreams, The Cranberries

"if i could be in a facebook relationship with excel, i would be."

--coworker, working late one night

afternoon shenanigans.

already reading:

• One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (by Ken Kesey)
• Blindness (by Jose Saramago)

early-afternoon trip to the library:

• Special Topics in Calamity Physics (by Marisha Pessl)
• The Gift of the Magi, and Other Short Stories (by O. Henry)

to the confused man at Hale & Hearty: sorry we all laughed at you when you couldn’t find the huge chalkboard menu; the country of New York is a harsh place.

to the man i ran full-force into while crossing 45th street: so sorry! i have a tendency to not look where i’m going, you just happened to be in my path of destruction.

to the mysterious co-worker who cleaned my pyrex in which i brought homemade cupcakes to the office this week: thanks, you rule. glad you enjoyed! (i know certain people had 3 cupcakes - in one day - and that’s pretty sweet.)

delicious invite.

E: by the way - must check the mail tomorrow
me: me check mail?
E: important mail is coming for you tomorrow
me: for me me?
E: for you. like mailbox mail
me: me??
E: yes
me: what? is it a baby alien? or is it Z's head in a box?
E: the latter
me: ewwwwwww. what is it..... now im all in suspense
E: oh please its our wedding invitation silly
me: OH YESSSSSSSSSSSS! i am gonna frame that thing in gold. or dip it in gold. or chocolate. yummy invite. you should have just made them out of chocolate to begin with
E: that would have been smart! damn. can you do that for your wedding?
me: oh yea no prob. just wait about 10 years. but by then we'll be using bionic chocolate.

i get a shout-out on liz's blog!

“sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole/just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound.”

—	Marching Bands of Manhattan, Death Cab for Cutie

i love days like today when i “forget” to change into my dress shoes at work, and spend all day in my chucks. can you say comfort?? although i do kind of look like liz lemon as a result. (and my shoes are 87% more beat up than the ones shown above.)

the above is a form that i was asked to fill out today (after working for 1 year+ at my company). they seem to be doing anything to find reasons to fire people…

why i love my sister.

me: "lets hack off her head!"
sister: awww!

hilarity from my blogging role model, georgia nicolson, via my sister

“There are six things very wrong with my life:
1. I have one of those under-the-skin spots that will never come to a head but lurk in a red way for the next two years.
2. It is on my nose.
3. I have a three-year-old sister who may have peed somewhere in my room.
4. In fourteen days, the summer hols will be over and it will be back to Stalag 14 and Oberführer Frau Simpson and her bunch of sadistic ‘teachers.’
5. I am very ugly and need to go into an ugly home.
6. I went to a party dressed as a stuffed olive.”

—from “Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging” (yes it’s for pre-teen girls. but i don’t care. it’s hilarious.)

what, praytell, is “fashion” about this? maybe if the buttons said “purple leggings”, “sombrero”, “little black dress”, or “bermuda shorts”, it would have something to do with fashion. this, my friends, does not.

early morning ethical dilemma.

i was running late to begin with. my morning routine has slowly gotten out of hand, which is just another one of the pros on getting magic straight. my morning playlist was blaring, and i was walking on autopilot to my subway stop. as i was crossing the street, i stepped over a pile of leaves that had gathered in a gutter. it was only about 20 seconds later, when i was already more than half a block away that i realized a $5 bill had been half buried in the pile of leaves. hmm… i wasn’t going to turn back to reassess the situation, since i was way late for work. but then i thought - what if it had been a $50? i think then i may have gone back to see if i could locate someone who had dropped it. but what if i couldn’t? then i’m standing on the street holding someone else’s $50. i would feel really bad about keeping it. it would be like bad karma just parking itself in my pocket. ok, but what if it had been just $1? it seems like $1 is up for grabs. it’s like finding a lucky penny on the sidewalk. but $5? that’s almost money. in the end, i probably don’t need someone else’s $5. i could check back on the pile of leaves later tonight to see if it’s been claimed (sidenote: have my evenings really been reduced to checking for lost money in piles of leaves in the street??). otherwise, i’ll find a nice homeless person who looks like they could use $5.

this shouldn't be awkward...

(names have been changed to protect the innocent; please keep in mind that i have not spoken to the "eugene" character since about 8th grade)

lucy: are you there? i need a quickie favor
me: Sure......
lucy: can you call eugene and see if he answers and if he does, ask him how far he is from picking me up
me: haha ok one sec
lucy: (he has my cell phone, i have no way of contacting him)
me: and just hang up?
lucy: no no
me: um, awk. do i say who i am?
lucy: if he doesnt answer, hang up, but if he does, get the info, RE: picking time
me: this is weird central
lucy: he'll understand. just tell him its you and that I IMed you to get a hold of him
me: ok here i go....hes "leaving school in a few minutes" so probably "20-25 minutes"? he "just got your message" if that helps.
lucy: yes. perfect. thank you!

pretty sweet; it even has a cool popping sound!

our holiday party was supposed to be at the russian tea room… a sign of the times. (also, they tried to fool us by inviting our spouses, but i’m not fooled.)