dream job.

nerd factor 12! colbert's interview with robert ballard, archaeological oceanographer extraordinaire. can i be bff with this guy?

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Robert Ballard

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Funny Political News

Christian Bale Parody
Joke of the Day

eww.

found this on tmz.com, and thought it was just gross enough to share.
thanks, beckham. now we are all infinitely more impressed with your "hotness". next time, request soccer shorts with pockets for kleenex, please.

back to school.

so i started my nerdy business class yesterday at nyu. yayy! and in true school form, i've already started compiling professor quotes. for those of you who went to school with me at some point - you'll know that i write down silly stuff professors say. it keeps me entertained during those boring classes that last for a million years.

last night i met the new prof, who seems like a potential goldmine of quotes. two gems from last night:

• [after walking past the overhead projector light] "Ahh! That light is like having a near-death experience! Grandma, I'm coming!"
  

• "Does anyone remember eight-track tapes? ...From a museum, maybe? Or, That 70's Show..."

chicago recap.

#1 - Lost.
If you haven't read the ew.com recap yet, you really need to. The past few episodes have been particularly confusing, with all the time travel and "when are they now" type questions. The Doc did a good job this week of explaining the episode and all of the important time changes. He also has some particularly good insights into the characters. (Which reminds me - wtf is going on with Sun?! I love her, but who is she crossing/doublecrossing?! Where the hell is Ji Yeon? Why did she show Kate a pic of baby Ji Yeon, when she really should be about as old as Aaron??) (Also, if you haven't read The Little Prince, you really should. Not only because it shares a title with the most recent Lost episode and has many similar ideas and themes, but it is just a fantastic little book.)

#2 - What Recession?
Word to the wise - if you have the means to keep shopping during these lametastic economic times, get in your deals now while they are running rampant! M and I stayed at a fancy fancy downtown hotel in Chicago this weekend, and not only did they fall all over us to be nice and accommodating, they gave us money up the wazoo in spa, food and parking credit. At Nordstroms - same thing. At Banana Republic - same thing (ended up getting 25% off EVERYTHING I bought in one day of NEW stuff). N wanted a new down coat. She went to Macy's and found one that was already half off, marked down from like $250. Then, it was some American Heart Association day, and since she happened to be wearing red, she got another 10% off. Check out what deals are to be had, because they are out there, my friends.

#3 - Airport Weirdness.
I must have traveled on odd days this week, where the gods of travel were all napping (or out shopping). On Wednesday on my way to Chicago, I got through security in about 3 seconds. Literally. It was like the TSA agents came out that day to solely get me through security. There was NO one else there. Also, my plane got in 35 minutes early. When does that ever hapen?!
Today on the way to LGA, I was getting coffee at O'Hare and also on the phone with M. When I got the coffee, I walked over to the bar to sugar it up -

Me: Hang on a sec, Ma, I need to put the phone down to put sugar in my coffee.
Dude at Starbucks bar next to me: (Chuckle)
Me: Oh, that's ok. My mom is at a Starbucks drive through right now, so she understands.
Dude: Yea, I have that conversation with my dad just about every day. "Dad, stop talking! I need to fix my coffee!"

So, apparently we are not the only people who are so insane about coffee/Starbucks. Good news.

#4 - Lost, again.
As I've been writing this, E, goddess of Lost, has posted her The Little Price recap. I haven't read it yet, but I'm sure it's delightful and insightful. Let me know what you think.

#5 - Le Office.
One important thing about last week's episode that I doubt anyone noticed aside from me. When Andy is trying to get advice about how to woo the hot new client lady, he turns to Creed. (Big mistake, as far as I can tell. I doubt I'd rely on Creed for anything, much less relationship advice.) Creed suggests just trying to go in for a kiss, as a way to get the girl. He mentions that this is what he did to woo Squeaky Fromme. For all those who are not obsessed with cults (i.e. everyone besides me), Squeaky Fromme was one of the main chicks in the Manson Family (!!!). While she was never charged for any of the Manson murders, she was later charged and convicted of an assassintaion attempt on President Ford. She is currently serving a life sentence for this crime. Whatever conclusions you want to draw regarding Creed potentially being involved with the Manson Family (or at least its outer circle), go for it.

really fantastic.

great blog posting about new york city. if you've ever lived here, it's a must-read (and you might even like it otherwise).

sign of the times.

so, thanks to J's input, i present to you: the hyundai assurance. but don't just stop at that name. (even though, naming a car "assurance" is pretty blatant.) if you lose your income within a year of purchasing or leasing the car, you can just return it! i'm pretty dumbfounded about this policy. is anyone else scared that this even exists??

overload.

how you know it's time to get some form of bookshelves...

butt slap.

highly recommended. i love michael scott.

jughead.

if your brain still hurts from last week's installment of lost, you may want to read this recap. it's a lost blog that i've read for a while now - not only is it written by just a regular person, AND she lives in chicago, but she is a huge lost nerd like me. (she even made her husband go to hawaii to visit the set on vacation and got to meet LOCKE!) her recaps are VERY insightful, and always help me out in thinking about lost. enjoy! and get psyched up for this week's new ep!

not quite sure what to say.

please view the picture below and it's accompanying letter. thanks to L and Z for bringing this to my attention....


(Here’s the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn’t show me dancing around a pole. It’s supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

treif alert!

According to my sources, the Superbowl is this weekend (or as my mom referred to it today, the "Stupidbowl"). As you may be able to tell, I don't care too much about football, but what I do care about is food. This loveliness was brought to my attention today by Z. It is highly treif, but of course there were already ideas on how to make it potentially less treif. Either way, I dare you to think this is not the most awesome thing ever:

For step-by-step pictures and instructions, please visit the site, and bask in the football food glory. Happy Stupidbowl!

amazing.

thanks to e's always-phenomenal detective work (and general organizational abilities), she's discovered this amazing Obama poster! i want one for my apartment!

obama connection alert.

i had heard rumors about this in my family, but today i found confirmation of my family's connection to obama!

so, my grandpa started a meatpacking company in 1939 - city foods. sorry kids, it's not kosher. he sells his brand of brisket and corned beef - bea's best, named after my grandma - to, among other places, manny's deli in chicago. again, i wouldn't really know about it due to the non-kosher factor, but apparently it's a big deal in chicago. and the word on the street is that obama loves to get corned beef sandwiches from them! hoorah for bea's best! pretty cool that the president loves my family's corned beef.

need plans for the weekend?

yes, a weekend has just ended, but that's the best time to start pondering your plans for the upcoming weekend! we're all workin' for the weekend anyhow, right?

anyhow, thanks to a's brilliant detective work (and general ability to just be in shul), we've discovered that SCHLOCK ROCK will be playing THIS WEEKEND (saturday night) in NEW YORK CITY (at Ramat Orah, West 110th between Broadway and Amsterdam). ahhhhhh (screams my 10 year old self)!

in case you were a total dork as a kid, i will let you in on the schlock rock secret. they are a jewish band, started in 1985, who parodies rock songs with Jewish/religious lyrics. various topics include: rashi, kashrut, tu b'shvat, shabbat, jewish history.

a few choice lyrics: "Oh can't you see/OU it's gotta be."
"Help me Rambam yea/Get me closer to God."
"Na'aseh v'enishma/We'll do all the mitzvahs/Come on let's learn some more/All night long."
"Hey you! What's that you're wearing?" "Yo it's my yarmulke!"

in our excitement for le concertia, convo with L -
L: (quoting Every Bite You Take) We're the police! The kosher police!
Me: Haha yay!
L: And get it? Because The Police sing the real song! Their genius is endless.
Me: This is blog-worthy. Thank you for your brilliant "police" work.

have i convinced you?! hopefully! can't wait to rock out with you this weekend! be good, be cool, be jewish!

top of the muffin to ya!!!!!

text from a: "SAW MUFFIN TOPS AT THE GROCERY STORE!!!"

wow. didn't know that michigan area grocery stores are getting their ideas from seinfeld.