"oh, my life is changing everyday/in every possible way/and oh my dreams/it’s never quite as it seems/never quite as it seems."

--Dreams, The Cranberries

"if i could be in a facebook relationship with excel, i would be."

--coworker, working late one night

afternoon shenanigans.

already reading:

• One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (by Ken Kesey)
• Blindness (by Jose Saramago)

early-afternoon trip to the library:

• Special Topics in Calamity Physics (by Marisha Pessl)
• The Gift of the Magi, and Other Short Stories (by O. Henry)

to the confused man at Hale & Hearty: sorry we all laughed at you when you couldn’t find the huge chalkboard menu; the country of New York is a harsh place.

to the man i ran full-force into while crossing 45th street: so sorry! i have a tendency to not look where i’m going, you just happened to be in my path of destruction.

to the mysterious co-worker who cleaned my pyrex in which i brought homemade cupcakes to the office this week: thanks, you rule. glad you enjoyed! (i know certain people had 3 cupcakes - in one day - and that’s pretty sweet.)

delicious invite.

E: by the way - must check the mail tomorrow
me: me check mail?
E: important mail is coming for you tomorrow
me: for me me?
E: for you. like mailbox mail
me: me??
E: yes
me: what? is it a baby alien? or is it Z's head in a box?
E: the latter
me: ewwwwwww. what is it..... now im all in suspense
E: oh please its our wedding invitation silly
me: OH YESSSSSSSSSSSS! i am gonna frame that thing in gold. or dip it in gold. or chocolate. yummy invite. you should have just made them out of chocolate to begin with
E: that would have been smart! damn. can you do that for your wedding?
me: oh yea no prob. just wait about 10 years. but by then we'll be using bionic chocolate.

i get a shout-out on liz's blog!

“sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole/just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound.”

—	Marching Bands of Manhattan, Death Cab for Cutie

i love days like today when i “forget” to change into my dress shoes at work, and spend all day in my chucks. can you say comfort?? although i do kind of look like liz lemon as a result. (and my shoes are 87% more beat up than the ones shown above.)

the above is a form that i was asked to fill out today (after working for 1 year+ at my company). they seem to be doing anything to find reasons to fire people…

why i love my sister.

me: "lets hack off her head!"
sister: awww!

hilarity from my blogging role model, georgia nicolson, via my sister

“There are six things very wrong with my life:
1. I have one of those under-the-skin spots that will never come to a head but lurk in a red way for the next two years.
2. It is on my nose.
3. I have a three-year-old sister who may have peed somewhere in my room.
4. In fourteen days, the summer hols will be over and it will be back to Stalag 14 and Oberführer Frau Simpson and her bunch of sadistic ‘teachers.’
5. I am very ugly and need to go into an ugly home.
6. I went to a party dressed as a stuffed olive.”

—from “Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging” (yes it’s for pre-teen girls. but i don’t care. it’s hilarious.)

what, praytell, is “fashion” about this? maybe if the buttons said “purple leggings”, “sombrero”, “little black dress”, or “bermuda shorts”, it would have something to do with fashion. this, my friends, does not.

early morning ethical dilemma.

i was running late to begin with. my morning routine has slowly gotten out of hand, which is just another one of the pros on getting magic straight. my morning playlist was blaring, and i was walking on autopilot to my subway stop. as i was crossing the street, i stepped over a pile of leaves that had gathered in a gutter. it was only about 20 seconds later, when i was already more than half a block away that i realized a $5 bill had been half buried in the pile of leaves. hmm… i wasn’t going to turn back to reassess the situation, since i was way late for work. but then i thought - what if it had been a $50? i think then i may have gone back to see if i could locate someone who had dropped it. but what if i couldn’t? then i’m standing on the street holding someone else’s $50. i would feel really bad about keeping it. it would be like bad karma just parking itself in my pocket. ok, but what if it had been just $1? it seems like $1 is up for grabs. it’s like finding a lucky penny on the sidewalk. but $5? that’s almost money. in the end, i probably don’t need someone else’s $5. i could check back on the pile of leaves later tonight to see if it’s been claimed (sidenote: have my evenings really been reduced to checking for lost money in piles of leaves in the street??). otherwise, i’ll find a nice homeless person who looks like they could use $5.

this shouldn't be awkward...

(names have been changed to protect the innocent; please keep in mind that i have not spoken to the "eugene" character since about 8th grade)

lucy: are you there? i need a quickie favor
me: Sure......
lucy: can you call eugene and see if he answers and if he does, ask him how far he is from picking me up
me: haha ok one sec
lucy: (he has my cell phone, i have no way of contacting him)
me: and just hang up?
lucy: no no
me: um, awk. do i say who i am?
lucy: if he doesnt answer, hang up, but if he does, get the info, RE: picking time
me: this is weird central
lucy: he'll understand. just tell him its you and that I IMed you to get a hold of him
me: ok here i go....hes "leaving school in a few minutes" so probably "20-25 minutes"? he "just got your message" if that helps.
lucy: yes. perfect. thank you!

pretty sweet; it even has a cool popping sound!

our holiday party was supposed to be at the russian tea room… a sign of the times. (also, they tried to fool us by inviting our spouses, but i’m not fooled.)